Every so often I see people stray far out of their way to do things for people which they normally would not do, and tolerate an arsenal of things they normally would not tolerate. Diverse reasons are often forwarded for this. Sometimes they are just nice and lineant people who generally enjoy pleasing others, other times they are under some pressure to stay as sober as possible in order not to get the other angry in fear of an unfavourable reaction.

The first reason is somewhat acceptable, but I'm here to help those who are "afraid to lose their friendship or their love" or whatever they could be getting from the concerned party. It is dangerous to your psychological health.

Every human being has a characteristic signature. Just like your official signature is unique to you, so is your character. If you have no visibly defined character, it goes that you have no self esteem, and if you have no self esteem, few people will treat you with value. We all have energies which come in contact when we communicate and interact. Most often, one person's energy dominates another during interaction.

If you are easily dominated, or if you give that impression to anyone, they will naturally value you less by either treating you with less respect or with pity. This puts you in a vulnerable position.

If you love someone to some point that they can get anything they want from you, you will hardly gain their love in return. They will take advantage of your weakness until they need you no more, and then they will move on and get someone else.

So if you want to attract attention, have your principles. Principles command respect. This is important. If you constantly act out of fear of losing someone, you will certainly lose them. After all fear is only good at materialising negativity.

Sometimes people act this way intentionally because they want to obtain something from the other party. You will hardly influence someone who easily influences you. People who are easily influenced are looked upon naturally as people who cannot make a right suggestion thus whatever they may suggest is often shrugged away firsthand.

Thus if you must get something from someone, do not put them in a position of dominance towards you, and do not give them any reason to dislike you either. Just be yourself, be somebody with principles.

"One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself." - Shannon L. Alder

We all have someone we do not want to lose, and there is someone we know does not want to lose us. Try to pause and observe these two groups of people. How do they interact with you? How do they react to your requests? How do you see them, how much respect do you have for them? How much do you think they have for you? Try to answer these questions and diagnose and apply what you just read.

I wish you more healthy relationships as you continue to build your self esteem.

 By Ngole E. Stanley Follow @StanLeeNgole

Also Follow @ThinkersMight